How Narcissists Use Inconsistency to Control You

The irony is that narcissists are very consistently inconsistent. If you try to hold them accountable, they simply will deny, deflect, and dismiss. It’s hard to know who you’re with at any given time because they are often not the same person, the change roles, and character constantly. The mask doesn’t only fall off, but they change mask to fit what they want or need. They may change their perspective, attitude, and behavior depending on what they feel they need or what and they know how to be kind when they want something from you. The inconsistency can result in a trauma bond and encourage the victim to persevere.

Examples of how they create inconsistency:

• (Bait and Switch) They will use this approach when they act like one person, and then become someone else. Narcissistic baiting is when a narcissist intentionally does and says things to either suck you into a confrontation or further escalate an ongoing conflict for their own advantage. It is a sick mind game!
• (Future Faking) Promising you your hearts desires and then withdrawing the promises or blaming you for the change or the commitment that they made.
• (Double standards) Narcissist will lecture you about how you spend your money, but yet they have terrible money management skills. They will lecture you on your eating habits…