Narcissists and Their Endless Need to Win

No. Narcissism is a game the narcissist plays with themselves. When we get caught up in their thinking and responding to them as if they are reasonable, we lose ourselves and can behave in a disordered way.

These people are seriously disordered, they may compete with you, try to impress you, say things to stir you up, attack you. But all of this has to do with how they perceive the world. They don’t feel normal feelings of love and care for others. Instead, they’re reduced to feeling as if they are being attacked, or winning, by attacking. And they feel extremely entitled to have the constant winning validated by all others.

We can’t even play their game because we don’t perceive reality the way they do. A more psychopathic narcissist can coldly kill their family in order to protect and promote their reputation and receive love and attention as a widow/widower.

A more benign narcissist will lie in such a way that causes people to lose their job, and break up their family relationships so that they can feel important and valued. Their behavior during daily interactions shows that they are competing at very small seemingly senseless things, but their mask or their reputation, the game they play, is in a sense an extension of themselves. They feel driven to protect and promote their reputation and control how others see them…