The Emotional Struggles of Leaving an Abuser

Every victim and survivor have a rational reason why they went back to their abuser. The reasons are also complicated for someone on the outside looking in. There could be children, coparenting, possessions, financial obligations, along with genuine love for their abuser. That’s right! Some victims and survivor love and is in love with their abuser. Love is a powerful motivator for someone to be loyal even to someone who is abusive towards them. When the victim made the decision to leave, the question of why they return is often dependent on the support of others. Some victims are not financially secure, or don’t have anywhere to go. Other reasons they return to an abuser includes inadequate assistance from support systems or law enforcement, child custody, legal issues, religious reasons, as well as difficulty breaking the trauma bond/emotional bond with their abuser. The idea that the known evil with the abuser isn’t as bad as the unknown without them.

It is not as easy as some may believe it to be. One of the most formidable and dangerous obstacles abuse victims face is their own guilt and shame which confuses their decision to leave, stay, or return. Another factor is trauma bond which is a psychological response to abuse. It occurs when the victim or survivor forms an unhealthy bond with the person who abuses them. The trauma bond keeps them emotionally and…