Why Society Protects Narcissists and Invalidates Survivor

When you know a narcissist, they aren’t a narcissist. They are a terrific person, a one in a million, a very special person who is worth your time. When you encounter abuse, it may not look like evidence of a crime.

It looks like the price you have to pay to have a quality human in your life. It seems like nothing of quality is free, sometimes you have to fight for what you want.

Also, you probably don’t believe its possible for one party to be completely guilty and the other innocent. You fully recognize that you have flaws and it reasonable to believe you should work on yourself to become a better person. Only later you find out that those incidents were abusive. But still, you’re confused. Did you commit the abuse? Do they realize they were hurting you? A narcissist’s demeanor is one of static innocence. Even when guilty, the narcissist seems guilty in the way innocent children are guilty. They wanted a cookie and are simply not mature enough to be held accountable.

Society also insists it takes two to tango, and that hurt people hurt people. So this outside pressure still absolves the narcissist. If you go to the wrong therapist or get the wrong information, you may still be following the old rulebook that says hurt people hurt people, and cut the abuser some slack.

It’s hard sometimes to validate oneself when the rest of society is invalidating your experience.

It’s very rare that anyone will look at the abuse and say, surely this person is a psychopath. People normally think the person was under severe emotional strain when they committed abusive actions.